Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login
About Varied / Hobbyist LexUnited States Recent Activity
Deviant for 10 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 39 Deviations 57 Comments 3,350 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Vibrance by Adeville Vibrance :iconadeville:Adeville 0 0 Acid Wonderland by Adeville Acid Wonderland :iconadeville:Adeville 0 0 Little Lo by Adeville Little Lo :iconadeville:Adeville 2 0 Day Dreamer by Adeville Day Dreamer :iconadeville:Adeville 1 0 I Sneak Around At Night by Adeville I Sneak Around At Night :iconadeville:Adeville 1 0 Reflections by Adeville Reflections :iconadeville:Adeville 1 0 The Blurry Rose by Adeville The Blurry Rose :iconadeville:Adeville 1 0 He Likes Her by Adeville He Likes Her :iconadeville:Adeville 1 0 Through the Bars of Flesh by Adeville Through the Bars of Flesh :iconadeville:Adeville 3 0 Cozy Pink by Adeville Cozy Pink :iconadeville:Adeville 4 0 Eye Candy by Adeville Eye Candy :iconadeville:Adeville 1 0 Fuzzy Letters by Adeville Fuzzy Letters :iconadeville:Adeville 0 0 Gutterflower by Adeville Gutterflower :iconadeville:Adeville 1 0 Electric City by Adeville Electric City :iconadeville:Adeville 0 0 Love Ends by Adeville Love Ends :iconadeville:Adeville 0 1 Tropioca by Adeville Tropioca :iconadeville:Adeville 1 0


Got my red glitter coffin by girltripped Got my red glitter coffin :icongirltripped:girltripped 2,965 263 The Hot Pink Mixtape Vol 1 by parkerstreetproject The Hot Pink Mixtape Vol 1 :iconparkerstreetproject:parkerstreetproject 2 0 Candle Road by WindyLife Candle Road :iconwindylife:WindyLife 341 79 candle by MayaPrincess candle :iconmayaprincess:MayaPrincess 109 23 Seven deadly sins : Envy by cyanideseeker Seven deadly sins : Envy :iconcyanideseeker:cyanideseeker 14 2 Sioux by d1sarmon1a Sioux :icond1sarmon1a:d1sarmon1a 82 19 Indie by myfamilysmistake Indie :iconmyfamilysmistake:myfamilysmistake 433 183 Hipster by pashion Hipster :iconpashion:pashion 647 73 2009 01 12 by mariofdy 2009 01 12 :iconmariofdy:mariofdy 1,609 75 Tonight, sleep tight. by girltripped
Mature content
Tonight, sleep tight. :icongirltripped:girltripped 3,270 468
Hello kitty by m-cookie Hello kitty :iconm-cookie:m-cookie 6 0 And furious by Zoobaka And furious :iconzoobaka:Zoobaka 5 0 Mushroom by Clickypen Mushroom :iconclickypen:Clickypen 2 8 Melt with me by Voivodess Melt with me :iconvoivodess:Voivodess 11 7


Who am I? Am I a person? I don't do blogs and I'm feeling too sick to write this on paper...and I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, someone will read this and be able to answer these questions.

In my Theories of Personality class, we were learning about various theories different psychologists had about human personality. The word "persona" means "mask." Who we are on the outside. Our public selves we present to the world so we're able to get along in civilized society. It presents a problem when a person confuses their public self with their private self. This could mean they haven't engaged in adequate self-reflection or have a confused sense of identity.

That is where part of my problem lies. I feel like I often speak before I think, say things I don't really agree with or mean, react in ways that don't reflect my true feelings, and push people away when really I want to get closer to (some) people. On many levels I am very self-aware - sometimes painfully so, acknowledging my every move, inflection and blink. But then there are many times when I feel like I'm looking in the mirror at a person I don't know. Do other people feel this way? How can I get close to people if I don't even know who I am - and therefore can't accurately open up to people? For several years I've presented myself as being very quiet and serious and closed off, even though that wasn't my intention. Rather, I think it was the outcome of some hard times and resulting mistrust.

I'm tired of it though. I want to feel like a person I know. Someone I can look at in the mirror and identify with and have control over, regarding my words and actions. I want clear thinking. Fog has clouded me far too long now. I want out.

[I'm feeling nauseous. Let's see if I delete this in a day or two.]


Adeville's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States


Add a Comment:
NeverQuothTheRaven Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2010
Thank you for the fav!!!
espoirfaux Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2010
Thanks for the watch! (:
Clickypen Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2009
Thanks for the fave!
Clinkorz Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
Hehe I know who this is! Hey Alex <3
GammaRaybies Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2008
Yo just letting u know that this is my new account. =]
delira Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2008  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you for the fav on my work, hope you'll pass by again soon
ninakrizak Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2008
Thank you for the favorite :)
ohmascarade Featured By Owner May 12, 2008  Student
thank you for the favorite!
SilverX2Shadow Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2007
Happeh Thanksgiving
SilverX2Shadow Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2007

Here are the rules:

1. Post these rules

2. Each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves

3. Tags should write a journal / blog of these facts

4. At the end of the post 8 more persons are tagged and named

5. Go to their page and leave a comment telling them they're tagged
Add a Comment: